Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Very funny, Lord. Really.

Okay so maybe I've spent the last few blog posts bemoaning the fact that I haven't had a whole lot of interesting things happen that are worthy of tossing out there to the internet world.  I'm sorry!  I take it back!

UNCLE!  Hear that??  I'm crying "Uncle!"

*whimper*

My first jolt into the waking world this morning came when Hunter let out an angry screech of "I WANNA WATCH 'DINOSAUR'!!!" followed by an equally angry Sarah snapping that she didn't have time for him to be picky as she still had to shower before school.

Maybe if I find something with T-Rexes in it, my kids will get eaten...

I stumbled into the livingroom and planted Hunter on the couch with his pillow, blanket, and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  Sarah ran for her shower, and I collapsed back into bed.  I think I managed to miss Steve when I keeled over, but I'm not certain.  If I didn't miss him, well... he's a tough guy anyway. 

Not long enough later, we were startled awake by Heather wailing "Sarah come back!  Sarah! Sarah!" and when I stormed down the hallway to shush her up she turned a tear-streaked face up to me and informed me that Sarah ran away from home.  I was entirely too sleepy and irritable for a 'Full House' awwww moment and told her that Sarah didn't run away, she ran to the bus stop.  The tears stopped instantly and without missing a beat, Heather snuffled and asked, "Can I have her DS anyway?"

*twitch*  I wanna go back to bed.

...Now, I need to stop and insert a smidgeon of backstory...

Last night we had nachos for dinner.  It's a great way for us to sneak meat and veggies into our kids and who doesn't like chips and cheese?  Anyway, while preparing the food we discovered a couple of bags of thoroughly stale chips.  Steve mangled the chips into crumbs and tossed them out into the grass in our backyard for the birds to eat, despite me pointing out that what he was actually doing was feeding the feral cats under our deck as the adult female is quite an accomplished hunter.

...Back to this morning...

Not ten minutes later I heard Hunter's angry little voice echoing around our room.  Only it wasn't coming from inside the house.  *growl*  Our neighbors are gonna start shooting at us.

Of course I bolted to the back door which was standing wide open with Heather staring outside and yelling for Hunter to come inside.  Hunter was standing in the middle of the deck shouting at the top of his powerful little lungs, "Birds!  Come eat your chips.  Right now!  Birds!  Where are you?!?"

*twitch*

To my credit, I didn't explode on the spot.  I simply put my hand over Hunter's mouth, told him that the neighbors already had their own alarm clocks and didn't need his help waking up.  Then I tried to explain that birds won't answer to loud shouts anyway.

That's when Heather piped up with, "Look Mom!  There's a bird!"  I looked at what she was pointing at and quickly ushered my children back into the house.  "Yep, you're right.  That's a bird."

Well.  Sorta.  I'm sure it was a bird when it landed on the chips last night.  This morning it's leftovers. 

Gak.

Oh yeah.  Did I mention that it's just now 8am?

*mutter*

So!  Who wants to babysit??

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