I'm getting old.
I'm told I should be mourning how fast he is growing and how brief his baby and toddler years were.
I'm supposed to be sad that he's past the stage of infancy where every time someone took a step near him to coo and gush over how adorable he was I went into Maniacal Ninja Guard Mom mode and sized each person up to see how fast I could break every bone I could reach if my baby so much as whimpered.
I should get teary-eyed and runny-nosed when I reminisce about dropping him off for his first day of school and watching him bolt toward those big double doors with so much excitement about finally being a big boy before I went home to an empty house and had my first HOT meal in 5 years and I didn't have to share it!!
I should be thinking back and getting depressed that all those experiences are behind me and I can never get them back no matter how many times or how tightly I hug my little boy while he squirms and whines about not being able to breath.
I can't bring myself to do that. I have never been that kind of mom and often joke that I'm missing a Mommy Gene somewhere.
Instead I find myself anxiously looking forward to watching him over the next few years as his interests and passions take real form. I'm fascinated by how quickly he becomes enamored with movie heroes and how well he mimics them. It's particularly entertaining to see him destroy a perfectly clean playroom in a matter of minutes when he's unable to choose if he's going to be Thor with the mighty hammer, Hawkeye with the "AWESOME!" bow, Captain America with the "totally cool" shield, or just go mean and green and "HULK SMASH!"... so he grabs the whole shooting match and tosses on Superman's cape for good measure and transforms into my own personal Sharknado of chaos.
Now that he's seen Kellan's Lutz's "Hercules" and his "new best movie!!" "Godzilla", things are bound to get REALLY interesting!
I can't wait to watch him excel in the math he seems to love so much and try to dodge the reading he thinks he isn't any good at, despite him still being able to read faster and better than his peers, especially if the book in front of him is something he's interested in. I have to admit I'm a little apprehensive about future science projects. He is his father's son after all. SOMETHING is going to explode at some point. Likely intentionally. Highly entertaining but most assuredly messy...
He wants to play baseball, soccer, football, and hockey.
I can't wait to watch his personality really take shape and reveal whether or not he's going to be a straight-laced, what you see is what you get young man. Or maybe he's going to be the class clown who never runs out of pranks and surprises to keep everyone hopping and laughing.
There's so much to look forward to, so many achievements waiting for him, so many doors he still gets to open and so many paths he has yet to run down.
I can't be sad and miss the days when he was a baby.
Because, honestly, every time I hug him and hold him tight...
He's my baby all over again.