Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Cats are always so regal and dignified.

And if you believe that, you've just betrayed yourself as someone who has never owned a cat in your life.  Ever.


My cats are awesome.  At least I think so.  Steve tolerates them because it's easier to put up with them than to deal with that whole "Hell hath no fury like a woman whose beloved furry speedbumps have mysteriously vanished off the face of the planet" thing.  But as cool as they are, "regal" and "dignified" could never be included in any list of adjectives that might be applied to Cali and Lea.

Cali has no interest in dignity.  Dignity would mean that she couldn't follow me around the house howling and hollering every fourth step until I picked a spot to sit down in so she could immediately invade and flop onto her back demanding a tummy rub.  If I fail to provide the appropriate attentions, she makes it abundantly clear that my priorities need to be straightened out.

"Put down the camera and rub the belly.  Now."

"No bellyrub; no stitching."

Lea has never been regal, despite being named because she had the potential to look like a lion when she was a kitten.  Oh she THINKS she's regal.  But any creature that consistantly falls asleep looking like she's been thrown out of a moving vehicle is automatically disqualified.

Backbones are totally overrated.

Okay, so bones in general are overrated.

From what I've been told about dogs, when an owner calls a dog, chances are that dog will get up and come to the owner to see what reward is waiting.

When an owner calls a cat, that cat will generally look up in irritation and make it clear that she will answer when the continental drift gets to wherever said owner is standing.

My cats are no exception to this feline rule of thumb.  Even when they do deign me worthy of getting up and inspecting whatever I might be offering they do it slowly, taking care to ensure that I'm fully aware of the fact that despite being the one who is "in charge" I'm really on THEIR schedule.

Today, both girls were sprawled at the foot of my bed diligently depositing liberal amounts of fur all over the sheets when I made the mistake of opening a canister on the other end of the house.  I heard and felt the dull roar of a speeding locomotive bearing down on me and barely had enough time to scramble out of the way before a fuzzy boxing match broke out where I'd just been standing.

Gimme gimme gimmegimmegimmegimmegimme......

Mmmm..... My Preciousssss

Right now, my two darlings are racing each other up and down the stairs, and up and down the stairs, and ACK! WHAT'S THAT?? Oh it's my shadow, and up and down the stairs, and doh! missed a couple of steps there, and up and down the stairs, and up and down the stairs, and hey! no fair biting my tail!, and up and down the stairs, and up and down.....

Ahhh.  Catnip.

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