A couple of days ago whilst mucking around on Facebook and managing to completely obliterate several hours that probably should have been used doing housework, I spotted an ad for some food company. They were running a contest where people were to write in about their dinner time routines to win something or other. I don't remember the details as it was one of those flashes you get between Facebook games loading up.
What? Like you don't have that one game on your phone, computer, or Ipad that seems to make your clocks speed up when you're not looking? *twitch*
Well, last night while trying to calm down and think of ANYTHING that wouldn't make me injure the poor man trying to sleep with one eye open next to me simply because he was the closest target for my rage (funny how they fail to mention this sort of thing in the fine print of the marriage vows, isn't it?), I found myself remembering that advertisment and it got me wondering what kind of entry I'd be able to supply.
So what would I write? I think my entry would look something like this...
Heather and Hunter bound down the stairs and zip into the kitchen: "What's for dinner? We're hungry! We want pizza!"
Kiri dodges one child then the other as they dart through the kitchen in obvious attempts to trip anyone holding boiling water: "I already told you. We're having spaghetti with lots and lots of cheese on top just the way you like it."
Heather: "Yay! That's my FAVORITE!"
Hunter watches Heather for his cue: "Yay! That's MY favrit, too!"
Sarah meanders down the stairs and cautiously peers into the kitchen to make sure there are no dishes in the sink and the table is already set: "Can I help with anything?"
Kiri eyes the oldest child with a resigned sigh: "Nope, everything's all set. I just have to dish out the food."
Sarah turns to head toward the livingroom and the remote. Kiri calls her back: "Oh wait. You can get their hands washed and then into their chairs."
Sarah looks suspiciously like someone just cancelled Christmas and her birthday for the next couple of years: "Okay, come on guys."
"Wash our hands! Wash our hands! No, I wanna get the stool out! Move over! Sarah, he won't let me stand on the stool too! Mom, Heather splashed me! Sarah, I wanna get the soap MYSELF! Hey, you two stop spitting at each other. MOOOMMMM! They just threw the soap at me, now I have to change shirts again!"
Steve gets home from work and quietly sneaks into the back room hoping no one spots him. No such luck.
"DADDY!!! You're home you're home! Hey, why'd you lock the door?"
Kiri loses her patience and manages to make her voice carry over the cacophony, throughout the house, and probably down the street: "Food's ready! Plant one end of your body in chairs so we can cram food into the other end!!"
Everyone takes their place at the table and Steve calmly suggests that someone pray over the food.
Heather jumps up and down in her seat, nearly knocking her drink over: "I will! I want to do it!"
"Dear God, thank you for our food. Thank you for the pretty day. Keep us all safe and together. Make Hunter stop taking my toys. Oh, and I still want a Tinkerbell Barbie. Amen."
The family starts to dig in.
Heather and Hunter finally look at their plates and wail in unison: "I don't like this! I thought you were gonna get us pizza!"
Kiri glares at Steve: "Tell me again why I'm not allowed to eat my young?"
Yeah. Normal Rockwell we ain't.