Getting back to normal... who are you kidding?

So the holidays are over and everyone's supposedly getting back into their typical routine.

Around here, that means Steve has started back to work with all the enthusiasm he can muster.  Basically, he narrowly avoids smashing his alarm clock/phone to itty bitty bits every time it goes off. Eventually he rolls out of bed and grudgingly stalks over to the closet to get dressed. He very gently and tenderly wakes me up to kiss me goodbye, then turns on his heel and marches down the hall threatening one of four moving speedbumps every couple of steps.

Once he is on his way, the cats realize that he's no longer defending the bed and I become a human trampoline, wrestling ring, and lump of dough obviously in need of vigorous kneading... all at once.

This can actually be fairly entertaining, and sometimes the kneading feels pretty good.  But invariably, just as I'm settling in and sinking back into a contented sleep an earthquake begins. 

The house starts to rumble.
The cats all freeze in place and adopt that famous "We're all about to DIE!!!!!!" expression.
The stairs begin to tremble violently.
The cats all sink to their haunches and frantically scope out the various escape routes.
I brace myself.
Two small children race noisily down the hallway and burst through the bedroom doorway whispering loudly to each other that "Mom's still sleeping and we have to be quiet."
Four cats erupt in four different directions... usually directly into each other.
Two small children squeal in delight at the sight of moving stuffed animals and charge.
Four cats extricate themselves from each other... and me... and vanish out the door.
A teenager in the next room squawks in surprise as four cats land unceremoniously in her bed, vying for hiding places under blankets.
Two small children invade my bed with morning requests:

"Can I feed the cats?"
"Can I watch TV?"
"Can I have breakfast?"
"Can I go outside?"
"Can I paint?"
"Can I put in a movie?"
"Can I get a game out?"
"Can I go to the store and get a toy?"
"Can I play dress up?"
"Why are you looking at the calendar?"
"Why are you smashing your head against the wall?"