Thursday, June 16, 2011

When's summer getting here???

I'm FREEZING!  Of course, I'm inside an air conditioned home where the person in charge of the temperature seems to really like the temperate climate of Antarctica.  *whine* 

I can't help it!  I need heat.  Apparently, lots of heat.  I tend to start shivering if the temperature drops below 80°.  Add direct sunshine and I'm in seventh heaven. I could happily sleep in a sauna.  Or maybe the oven.  That could work.  It's a well known fact to everyone in my family that if our home were to catch fire in the dead of winter, the firefighters would find me warming myself next to an open flame and flat refusing to step foot outside in the snow.

You know that Jeff Foxworthy skit about "snuggling with a Butterball turkey"?  Yeah... that's me.  It could be the middle of August on the equator and I would still be able to successfully draw screeches by sticking my hands on the nape of someone's neck.  As a matter of fact, Steve has taken advantage of this... gift.  We were at a 4th of July BBQ and I walked by where he was sitting.  He scared me half to death by suddenly grabbing me and hauling me toward him.  Of course I shrieked.  Of course everyone turned to stare.  And there was Steve flattening my hands against the back of his neck and "aaaaahhhhh"ing with contentment while I turned eight or nine shades of red.

Most couples argue about finances.  We argue over the A/C.  Steve's evening routine generally involves coming home from work, changing, turning the A/C back on, patrolling the entire house and opening all the vents, then patrolling again because I'm three steps behind him closing them all as fast as I can.

I tell him it's because I'm being thrifty and trying to keep our electric bill down during the summer.  In reality, I'm just tired of biting my tongue when my teeth chatter.

Yeah.  I'm that clumsy.

What?  This surprises you?

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